16. Every Loser Wins - Nick Berry

Nick Berry joined the cast of Eastenders eight months after its first episode in 1985 playing the part of Simon Wicks, the son of Pete Beale and Pat Butcher (who was yet to appear). In 1986, his character was part of a storyline in which he formed a band with other teenagers, including long running characters Ian Beale and Sharon Watts. After being thrown out of the Queen Vic pub following a gig that caused the electricity supply to be lost and Den Watts to tell them "you're banned", they called themselves The Banned. After quitting the group, Simon Wicks writes a solo song called Every Loser Wins which he performs in the pub. A cassette recording of the song is later played endlessly by Lofty after being jilted at the wedding altar by Michelle Fowler.

With Eastenders having millions of viewers, the song was recorded by Nick Berry and swept its way to the top of the chart, spending three weeks at number 1 in October and November, becoming the second best selling single of the year and winning an Ivor Norvello award. Its climb from number 66 to number 4 held a chart record until 2001 when 'It's The Way You Make Me Feel' by Steps climbed from number 72 to number 2. Another song performed by The Banned on the soap, 'Something Outa Nothing', was a number 12 hit for Letitia Dean and Paul J Medford.

After moving on to the ITV police drama series Heartbeat, Nick Berry reached number 2 in 1992 with the theme song. He retired from acting and has kept a low profile since then.

I think many on here would put this in last place but it's a well written song with an understated vocal performance from Nick. Yes, it's a bit cheesy but I don't mind listening to it and being old enough to have watched Eastenders from its opening episode, there is some nostalgia attached to it. Simon May uses the same electronic drum sound towards the end as he did for the show's theme tune.

Ahh now there is one of my bottom 2!

Awful schmaltzy song.

'Edge of Heaven' is vibrant, not as good as 'Freedom' though.

'Every Loser Wins' does sound like an extension of the Eastenders theme tune. Is it better than Anita Dobson 'Anyone Can Fall In Love'? Not sure.

Edited Sunday at 18:534 days by TheSnake

"Every Loser Wins" is behind "The Edge Of Heaven" for me - what an average song.

Ah now I understand what you meant about ones that were yet to come @Jester!

Such an insipid song, how did it win an Ivor Novello?!!

I know all the number ones of 1986 but because the charts didn't come on my radar until 1987 I don't have the nostalgic memories that help me like certain song I maybe would have liked if I was older.

Not keen on any of those featured so far. The 3 novelty ones are meant to be rubbish so can give them some lenience. The Boris Gardiner one bugs me, very bland compared to "Elizabethan Reggae". There were quite a few decent artists from the 60s/70s who were past their best by the 80s but still sold records. The only difference is Boris Gardiner had nothing in between to show the decline. The Wham! record was always going to number one given the circumstances, not as bad as some of the other number ones of the year though.

I've looked at the list and there's 5 that are yet to feature that really irritate me. None are novelty records, it's quite possible I'll be the only one who doesn't like 4 of them but I'm certain people will agree with me on the other one. In fact I even think some may have that as their bottom song.

I have a Top 5 in no particular order and my favourite is a toss up between 2 songs.

I'd have Boris Gardiner and Nick Berry below the two novelty ones, being boring is far more of a crime than being a tacky novelty song for me, I do quite like the piano in the latter but the former I am struggling to remember literally anything about.

Oh that's definitely the worst one so far for me, Boris is saved from last place in my ranking after all. I'd completely forgotten that Nick Berry had a #1, if you'd have asked me what song he was famous for I'd have said Heartbeat every single time.

Hated Eastenders sorry Rollo (!), melodramatic, and all that shouty shouty arguing really rubbed me the wrong way. Corrie OTOH had wit, better scripts and acting, and if someone had attached threatening electrodes to my open eyelids and forced me to choose between the two for a 12-hour binge sesh, it would have been Coronation Street every time. So sadly this cast-off also rubbed me the wrong way, too - tho I can sing it now, Ev'ri LOOza wiiiins, ev'ri blah blah blah, blahblahblah blah blah. So it at least had a mildly memorable melody and ranks above The Chicken Song for me 😄

15. When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going - Billy Ocean

Billy Ocean was born in Trinidad and Tobago but moved to the UK with his family at the age of 10. After starting out as a singer in the late 60s, he finally had his first hit single in 1976 with 'Love Really Hurts Without You' which got as high as number 2. Another number 2 hit, 'Red Light Spells Danger', followed in 1977. He had no further top 40 hits until a mid 80s revival with 'Caribbean Queen' (number 6) and Suddenly (number 4). This success led to him being chosen to record the theme song for the film 'The Jewel Of The Nile'. The song was inspired by a line spoken by Kathleen Turner's character in the film, "When the going gets tough, the tough...I don't know what the tough do". It spent four weeks at number 1 in February. The stars of the film, Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito, all appear in the video.

Billy Ocean ended up with three US number 1 singles but this isn't one of them, being kept from the top of the chart by Whitney Houston's 'How Will I Know'. By the end of the 80s, his run of top 40 hits came to an end.

After having a few near misses, this was a well deserved number 1 for Billy Ocean but it's not a song I've ever liked that much. He sings it well and it has a memorable chorus but it has that rather bland, safe, mid 80s production sound that can be found on many film soundtrack songs. A cover version by Boyzone also reached number 1 in 1999 and that's predictably even worse.

It is pleasant enough but never was never one of my 80's favourites indeed. The production is rather generic I agree.

I love 'Love Really Hurts Without You' and 'Caribbean Queen' is good.

When The Going Gets Tough is okay, yeah a bit predictable and of course the film helped its success, but I think it’s the best of the songs so far. However I did prefer many of his earlier hits. The Boyzone version was truly awful though.

I was very happy Billy finally had a number one, but... I bought his 1974 powerpop tour de force under the band name Scorched Earth, and loved that, On The Run really should have been a hit but Radio 1 didnt pick up on it, Luxembourg did though at least. Or Love Really Hurts, Red Light, Caribbean Queen all worthy of a top spot place. This was a more formulaic track that was fine, plugged a fun film, and was catchy enough without being annoying - but isn't one I ever dig out to play as it never seems to have gone away ever. Saw him at Upton Country Park about a decade ago, that's a 5 minute walk from my house, and to beat the rush I left on the final song of the encore as I wasnt that fussed, I could still hear it walking down the road. This one.

He didnt do this one sadly:

No qualms about that 'I Wanna Wake Up With You' position. It just plods along really without leaving much of an impression on me at all.

I agree that 'The Edge of Heaven' is quite messily constructed although in the right mood I do enjoy its earworm qualities. On the subject of Wham!, I saw there's a new 10 Days In China documentary film coming out, so I look forward to giving that a go.

I was intrigued about early EastEnders after reading about its popularity in the '80s (e.g. the ratings of the Angie/Den divorce papers) so found episodes online and started watching some of it from the beginning! I didn't make it as far as 'Every Loser Wins' but did see some early Nick Berry episodes and he was very charismatic. Less crazy about the song though!

The Boyzone version was my introduction to 'When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going' and I agree that the original is superior, but not exactly his finest moment. It's alright. The backing singer cameos in the video are quite fun though.

14. Don't Leave Me This Way - The Communards with Sarah Jane Morris

Don't Leave Me This Way was first recorded by Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes featuring Theodore Pendergrass in 1975 but their version wasn't a UK hit until January 1977. In February of the same year, Thelma Houston's cover also reached the UK chart and the two singles were in the top 20 at the same time. Harold Melvins's original peaked at number 5 while Thelma's version reached number 13 while also topping the Billboard chart.

After leaving Bronski Beat, Jimmy Somerville formed The Communards with Richard Coles. They had two minor hits with 'You Are My World' and 'Disenchanted' before hitting the jackpot with their version of Don't Leave Me This Way. It spent four weeks at number 1 in September and October and was the best selling single of the year. The British singer Sarah Jane Morris joined Jimmy on vocals.

The Communards had two more top 10 singles before splitting up in 1988. Richard Coles became a priest and well known TV and radio personality.

This version of the song has a hi-NRG beat with some brass instrumentation. Jimmy Somerville has a distinct vocal style and while I don't mind it on 'Smalltown Boy', it does become a bit annoying on this record. Sarah Jane Morris sings in a deeper range and the two of them had a bit of fun on one of their Top Of The Pops performances by miming to each other's vocals. I have now reached the part of my rankings where the songs are OK but not ones I would choose to listen to and this is one that falls into that category.

Don’t Leave Me This Way is a quite good cover version, I like the energy and the vocals. I was always surprised it became the bestseller of the year though.

That’s probably in my top 2 and yet the other bottom 2 for me track is still to come 🤪🤪

Don't think I had actually heard that Nick Berry track before now I've checked it. It is very forgettable tbh.

I enjoy both 'When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get's Going' and 'Don't Leave Me This Way' though. For Billy 'Caribbean Queen' is my fave of his.

8 hours ago, Popchartfreak said:

Appropriate band name at the moment.

Edited Tuesday at 18:562 days by TheSnake

Oh thats too low! I love 'Don't Leave Me This Way', great dance-pop track, kind of a precursor sound-wise to Yazz - The Only Way Is Up in 1988 (albeit Yazz has a house bassline).

Edited Tuesday at 19:092 days by TheSnake