Hello, welcome, you may have noticed me slightly more often in this forum over the past year, reflecting on the music I used to like the most, and making occasional contributions to some of these countdowns. I was asked if I wanted to partake in this series, so I have taken a prolonged break from my thread to write this instead.

So, we move to 2012. What was I up to and what was happening in the world? In 2012 I turned 23, I’d not long graduated and begun the year signing on still looking for gainful employment, and feeling quite down about it. I was still living with my parents which helped with that situation, and I started working properly in April in an office job and life started to improve. It had an impact on me musically too, as it was an office in which a high repeat dirge radio station like Heart FM or something equally rancid was on ALL THE TIME. As a result there are definitely a couple of tracks here that appear lower than they might otherwise have had, due to the memories of hearing them a minimum of three times a day, Monday to Friday, every single week, for what felt like an eternity.

No longer being at uni, I was going out much less and as a result didn’t create the same bond to generic massive party songs as I had in recent years (hello Pitbull and LMFAO) so some of the biggest hits of the year passed me by in ways which wouldn’t have happened previously.

It was still amongst the time when I still most active on BuzzJack, having relatively recently introduced Unknown Pleasures into the Indie & Rock forum, part-hosting the Record of the Decade competition in the Chart Forum, and still having some interest in mainstream music and the charts (ask me to do this in 2016-17 and I’d be clueless to what most of the songs were), whilst taking Utopia to some of their most dizzying heights in BuzzJack Song Contest with the most landfill of noughties landfill indie acts, Reverend and the Makers.

The landscape of the year in the UK was dominated by two events at each end of the summer. First was the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, an extra bank holiday and party to celebrate Elizabeth II being on the throne for 60 years. At the end, it was London hosting the Olympics and Paralympics, events which genuinely seemed to bring the nation together in celebration, in what now feels like a distant memory in such a post-truth divided world. Chart hits were created from the ceremonies and soundtracks, and some of them big, but unfortunately not quite to the top so as much as I’d love to be talking about Harder Than You Think and One Day Like This, I shan’t be. There was a football tournament too, in which England typically disappointed. Nothing to discuss here again though, as no seriousness was taken to releasing a song and the only effort I can find reference to, featuring ex-footballer and then current TV personality Chris Kamara, didn’t even bother the chart.

Musically, it was the year of debut albums from alt-J, Jake Bugg, Perfume Genius, Jessie Ware and Purity Ring; debut singles from Public Service Broadcasting and CHVRCHES; superb 3rd or 4th albums from Hot Chip, The Maccabees, Bat For Lashes and Crystal Castles; Foals released the incredible Inhaler; my favourite album of 2011 (Ben Howard – Every Kingdom) became a mainstream success, but less of what I was listening to and enjoying in 2012, we’re here to discuss what the public was listening to and buying, although I did put two of these UK #1 songs in my Year End top 10 at the time, which is quite the rarity! So there is some overlap, but will they still be the two I like most?

After years in the mid-late 2000s of fewer number ones and songs climbing to their chart peaks being common, we had begun the decade back in the era of high turnover at the top, many one week number one singles, and releases being held back to ensure maximum chance of a chart topper. 2012 wasn’t any different, with another 36 number one singles, 26 of which entered at the top, though of the ones which didn’t there were some genuine slow burners which became massive hits. When Julian asked me about taking part in this, I scanned the list of number ones for the year and saw a good dozen or so which I still think are excellent, but as you can tell, plenty of other songs of to get through first and it’s quite the ride. One thing that does strike is how often the word ‘featuring’ will appear in this countdown, as it was a year of collabs galore. I’ve enjoyed following these threads without specifically remembering exactly what’s to come, so won’t be doing much hinting or revealing anything which is still to come at any point.

2012 had number one singles which included the now typical array of; an uninspired cover for an X-Factor winners single, new releases by various previous alumni as well as from past, present and future judges. There was a charity cover, a song for an event, a contender for ‘the most non-number one number one single of all time’ and a disgrace of a human being that shouldn’t have been anywhere near the top of the chart, but this countdown won’t start with any of those because something far, far worse exists, however I’m not expecting the usual near-universal agreement for a bottom placing in one of these countdowns…

Excellent introduction @RabbitFurCoat, I’m really looking forward to your countdown. Also consider me now very intrigued by your lowest ranked song, that’s even worse than all the other objectionable stuff you mentioned!

Looking forward to your countdown!

I turned 15 this year and it was a particularly memorable birthday as 4th August was team GB's 'Super Saturday' at the Olympics 🤩

Consider me intrigued for your bottom placer too.

36. Robbie Williams – Candy
2 weeks at #1 (entered 4^th November) 01-01-06-08-07-11-15-14-{09-11-16-23-34-42-49-51-39-44-53-56-61} (21 weeks)
Kept off #1: None
Sales: 137,581 & 90,812
EOY: #22 (503,000)

When I was first aware of popular music and what was in the charts, Robbie Williams was as big an act as they come. I was slightly too young to have been aware of Take That, splitting in 1996 which was a year or two shy of me properly getting into any popular music, but Robbie was massive, absolutely everywhere, somehow managing to release songs that primary school kids of my age loved, as well as their mums, dads and grandmas, which was quite the feat. Six solo number one singles with his first five albums each selling over 2 million copies in the UK – some of them were truly excellent that I enjoyed then and now - but this heyday was a long way off by the time we were in 2012.

Lead singles from three consecutive albums had failed to make the top spot, a couple of runners-up in Tripping (2005) and Bodies (2009), and a lowly #4 for Rudebox (2006), which was the sound of someone who’d been a popstar for 15 years attempting to be ‘down with the kids’, a poor effort that was (and likely still is) regarded as his weakest single. After not being part of That That’s initial reunion and huge success from 2006 onwards, he made up with the band and re-joined in 2010 to be part of their 3^rd album since reforming, The Flood. He also released a solo single Shame, with Gary Barlow, ahead of the release of his second Greatest Hits album, which along with The Flood single both fell short of giving him another chart topper and instead he had another pair of #2s.

By 2012, it had been 8 years since he’d topped the singles chart, as big a gap as the one between his debut solo single and 6^th #1, but he also seemed as much in the public consciousness in a positive light as he had for a while too; back in Take That, lacking controversy, he’d been a guest mentor on X-Factor on the Saturday as he was about to release his new single, Candy, on the Sunday, and also performed the song on the show. It had been held back for weeks, spending almost 2 months on the UK Radio airplay chart by the time it was released (though controversially not playlisted by Radio 1 of course, the disgraceful ageist bast*rds), it was all set to give him a return to the top spot, and it duly delivered, smashing it with its #1 sales tally of 137k being beaten only five times throughout the year, holding off the previous #1 on both of its weeks at the top.

Anyway, enough of the context and this history, why, amongst all the other drivel that 2012 served, is Candy at the bottom? Simply put, I have always found it to be one of the most annoying songs ever made. Sometimes you get fed up of catchy and popular songs from how much you’ve heard them even if you once quite liked them (hi Moves Like Jagger), some you just don’t quite get their popularity or know it’s music not made for you (hello Someone Like You), whilst others just irritate from the very first listen and then only ever get worse, and Candy is one of those, right from the brass section in the introduction. Though it should be no coincidence that a song which interpolates lyrics from a popular nursery rhyme (ring a ring a roses) should be annoying. His voice is irritating on it, the rhymes are irritating, I hate how catchy it is and that I only have to see the words “Robbie Williams – Candy” for the annoying chorus to get stuck in my head. I hated listening to it in 2012 and after years of not doing so, hated doing so once more.

To be fair to Robbie, he showed he could still write a hit, didn’t need to rely on attempting to be cool anymore, and could still catch the imagination of the public, and fair play to him – in some ways it was nice to see him get that elusive number one single again, happy for him, just the song was not for me, and that’s fine – by 2012 I’d stopped caring that songs I disliked would be big hits, as it was so common. The next few songs in this countdown may technically be worse as far as compositions of music go, but ultimately they’re a bunch of forgettable non-entities that were easy to block out then and in the 14 years since, therefore any level of dislike wasn’t quite the same.

I checked back to see if I said anything on the site about Candy in 2012, and clearly I wasn’t in the mood to be too negative about songs at the time as it rarely got a mention, a defence of Radio 1 for not playlisting it was the main topic of my discussion for it, and I gave it my one allowed negative score on the thread to Rate 2012s number ones, so I’m pleased that I have always been consistent at least. It was a more difficult choice to rank this last than I was initially expecting when first looking at the list, but it might have been even more difficult; 2012 was a year for the super annoying big-hit pop song, but thankfully the year’s other biggest irritant didn’t make it this high and I don’t actually have to listen to the warbling of We Are Never Ever Everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Getting Back Together again for the purposes of compiling this list.

Interesting opener! I'm not spoiling this for myself by seeing what's to come but that's a mid opener for me, I'd be surprised if I'd rank it last (especially if there are indeed 36 of them! ) but it's certainly not a favourite either.

Yes Candy is very poor and just irritating. Not sure if I’d put it last, I’ll wait to see what else is to come.

No real feelings either way about “Candy” - interesting that it irks you that much!

Candy is fantastic. There was so much worse at the top in 2012.

I really liked Candy and was glad to see Robbie get another No.1 after so long.

The Flood is far better, and it's still a crime that missed the top, but still, I found it jolly and catchy and would have been one of those first week buyers for it.

Looking forward to the countdown, nice context in the opening post. I started a new job that year (that I was only at just over 18 months) and met one of my closest friends there but outside of that I don't think it was anything revolutionary in my life. I very vividly remember the hype around the Olympics, and the continuation of the club banger era, although it was coming to a close as house was about to make a big comeback in 2013.

Looking forward to this, great set of opening posts and context for your experience with these songs/2012 in general.

I don't even mind seeing 'Candy', quite an unexpected one, out first. Robbie in solo is a prospect that's only very rarely appealed to me and that one got old quite quickly, I don't know if I'd have put it last, I can think of a certain horror I think I'd have put at the bottom, but it would have been quite low down. He's like the centre of the soft-pop-rock vortex and when he did something below par, it inevitably gets played to death on radio and there's certainly a few songs from certain points in my life that I'd do the same to. (I don't harbour the same hate for that Taylor song but I absolutely see its potential in that regard)

This was the year I started uni, plus memories around the Olympics and finishing school so lots of these songs I will have heard in clubs at their peak. Do tend to think of 2012 as one of the better years in music around this time as the decade started to shape its identity.

Yeah cheesy and not very good, at least I had a bit of fun with it at the time as my earphones weren't working at the time so only played the backing vocal bits of the chorus.

Interesting place to start, but in the absence of an X Factor Finalists single or similarly formulaic slop that was guaranteed #1 regardless of how it sounded, it's a fair choice. I'm not a fan either - as with many of Robbie's lyrics he seems be on an endlessly sarcastic loop, and while Guy Chambers would usually find an arrangement to keep them afloat, Gary Barlow's just sinks it here and it ends up in holiday park entertainer territory.

Intrigued by what's to come - when I first read "the most non-number one number one single of all time" my mind turned to the same song as when I then read "a disgrace of a human being that shouldn’t have been anywhere near the top of the chart", so now I'm wondering what else one or both of these songs could be!

I liked 'Candy' a lot but then again I've enjoyed a fair share of Robbie's jolly esque tracks ('You Know Me' being another) but fair enough a reason there. Looking at the list of #1's I'm not sure there will be many I dislike too much actually.

Really looking forward to this rank, 2012 had some great #1's.

I liked Candy, I remember winning the Take The Crown about in an online contest. Also I remember really liking follow up single Different.

Ha, Candy is a bit rubbish. I’m not mad about it being last.

Looking forward to this, I really got back into the charts from 2012 as the quality of music really picked up from this year after several years of dirge.

I actually don't mind this Robbie Williams song. It's not his best.

It's just a silly, fun and innocent pop song without trying too hard. I wouldn't have put this right at the bottom.

I would take this over a lot of the X Factor and charity singles anyday.

Edited Wednesday at 08:252 days by Charlielargepotatoes

2012 was the year I discovered Buzzjack, I'm not sure how I came across it, but it added to my enjoyment of current pop as I started hearing stuff not played by Radio 1. Talking of which, I never got fed up hearing Candy - prob for that reason that it wasnt playlisted - and I still think it's a good pop song, with or without ring a rosies. Well constructed, nice production, fairly inoffensive and it doesn't irritate me like some of overly-simple one-note repetitive dance tracks do. Gazza co-wrote, and while it's not in the same league as The Flood, it's pretty good on the whole and the very Robbie-esque lyric "Mother was a victim, father beat the system, by moving bricks to Brixton and learning how to fix them" is a goodie. conversationalist but twisty and fun. My rating at the time? number 6, not quite up to chart-toppers Be A Boy and Go Gentle which topped my charts in 2013 but higher than his S**t On The Radio. Oops, Robbie seem to be mildly biting the hand that feeds him....

I really disliked 'Candy' at the time, these days I'm 50/50 on it but it's never something I seek out of my own accord.

It was cool to see him get a #1 at that stage nonetheless, I still remember his interview on the chart show where he was like "I didn't think I'd ever get another one again"

Thanks for all the comments. Glad there is some other disliking of Candy, even if not quite as much as me!

I do think 2012 was a good year overall for number one singles, it was a good variety and lots of stuff that is decent - there is a lot of rubbish but then there is in every year and when 36 songs reach the top, there's bound to be!

35. Gary Barlow & The Commonwealth Band feat. Military Wives - Sing
1 week at #1 (entered 3^rd June, number one 10^th June) 11-01-03-11-23-27-34-40-51-71-64 (11 weeks)
Kept off #1: Flo Rida - Whistle
Sales: 141,670
EOY: #60

2012 marked 60 years since Queen Elizabeth II took the throne in the UK, and in the early summer this was celebrated by a Diamond Jubilee event and extra bank holiday. There needed to be an official single for this and thus Gary Barlow and Andrew Lloyd Webber were chosen to pen it. Gary toured the world to enlist the help of musicians across the Commonwealth to become The Commonwealth Band, as well as getting the Military Wives choir on board, fresh from their 2011 Christmas #1 with Gareth Malone, to record Sing. It was released the week before the main celebration event and entered the chart at #11, before being catapulted to the top following it. There was a lack of longevity though, with a quick descent down the chart, and it sold over a third of its total tally in its week at the top.

I’m no anti-royalist but at the same time I simply don’t care about the Royal Family and never have. I pay no attention to them or any of the big events that surround them, but am ultimately not against their existence, and I've always found them relatively easy to ignore. I'd have had no interest in the Jubilee, however it had me more annoyed than normal at its existence as I’d recently finally started working, and being agency staff didn’t get paid for bank holidays, so was frustrated at losing out on £60 or so for something I didn’t care about and would have happily worked through.

There are occasionally songs which you know you aren't the audience for, and Sing is definitely that. It’s not something I’d have naturally come across, neither was it performed and written by anyone I’d deliberately check new music out by. I may have listened to this once out of curiosity, but to be completely honest I might not have done. Sing was completely irrelevant to me at the time and I'd completely forgotten about its existence as quickly as it dropped out of the charts. A listen to it to determine the rankings here, and then one more when doing the write-ups, were essentially done with completely fresh ears. When first going through the list of songs I had to rank I’d tentatively put this at around #30 - no memory of it, and can’t imagine a song with these artists will be something I’d rank much higher, but also unlikely to find it more offensive than this bottom five.

However, it turns out it is. In the end it was a close run battle between the Take That boys for the bottom position, but I just couldn't justify something this irrelevant that made so little impact on me being at the very bottom. The lyrics start and end with the voice of a single child which I find off-putting and not something I’d want to listen to, the chorus is as I’d expect it to be, tries to be rousing with a big vocal from full choirs but is just quite boring, and the song just plods along for 4 minutes and then ends with a 30 second bagpipe outro from nowhere, probably the worst instrument there is that immediately makes anything it features in worse. Everything about it just sounds so forced and polished, get two national treasures to write a soppy ballad with a big chorus for the Queen and watch the public lap it up.

Sing was also included on a 7 track album of the same name which was #1 for three weeks, it included a version where Gary sings it rather than the choir, a cover of The Beatles Here Comes the Sun, as well as versions of songs typical of this type of event – Amazing Grace, Land of Hope and Glory and of course, God Save the Queen. It’s difficult to imagine an album I’d want to listen to less, although with a run time of only 24 minutes it could be worse, and I suspect plays of copies of it since 2012 are incredibly low and gathered a lot of dust.

The song it kept from the top spot was much bigger, Whistle by Flo Rida ended the year as the 15^th biggest seller, the 4^th highest song which didn’t reach number one, and this was its first of 2 weeks as runner up. Four years after debuting in the UK with Low, 2012 was a big year for Flo and it was unfortunate to not become his 5^th UK number one – by the time Sing was out of the top 40 Whistle was still top 5, having spent 8 weeks between #2 and #6, a genuine big hit. Despite Sing being awful, I don’t wish I was writing more than this paragraph about Whistle instead. In the previous post I was discussing the two most irritating big hits of the year, and Whistle wasn’t far behind, an annoying whistle throughout and unnecessarily vulgar, it’s comfortably my least favourite of Flo’s big hits and would also have been in the #30s in this countdown.